A Scam done for Love

I wanted to post one more time before this project ends, because today was Shopping Bazzar day at the girls' school. Tis the season to shop and shop and shop... kids don't want to be left out either, so the school makes a fundraiser out of it every year. Honestly, this is the best scam I ever heard!

Parents are told to buy gifts - one for each member of the immediate family - between $1-5. The gifts are sent to the school and placed out on tables with everyone else's gifts, divided up by dollar amount and the kids are taken into the room one or two at a time to "shop" for their family. And what do they use to pay for the gifts they choose? Why, money the parents send to the school expressely for this purpose, of course! Kids are only allowed to shop within the price range of the gifts you as a parent send as well, so if you send three $3 gifts, you can't turn around and sent $15 with your child to shop for you, otherwise in the past people have sent all $1-2 things but given their kids money to buy better things to bring home. It's the ultimate example of double-dipping for the school, but the kids absolutely love it so I try not to complain too much. Harumph.

Do you know how hard it is to find something nice for a dollar? Two dollars? Even five dollars? Many parents spend up to $10, just because there's always the possibility that your child will pick what you've sent - so it's in a parent's best interest to send nice things. I trolled the post-Thanksgiving sales and sent some pretty nice stuff, I think. I got a Memory game, some packs of Littlest Pet Shop pets and packs of Hot Wheels cars from Target, a jewelry box and a small purse I got at an American Greetings store closeout earlier in the year, a sports fact-of-the-day calendar and a mini-mag lite from Meijer and a lovely nut assortment from Fannie May. I always send extra when I can because sometimes the school doesn't always get nice stuff donated, especially from new parents who've never done it before. But this year was pretty good. I saw some Starbucks and Borders gift cards (which are always a score), My Little Pony toys, Star Wars figures, Uno cards, stuffed animals, jewelry, candy, and small tools. As with every other year, there were still entirely too many candles and bottles of body wash/hand lotion. And it's always the dads that suffer -- choices also included socks, hankies and the ever popular "ear and nose hair trimmer" (likely a regift on that one). There were a couple of older girls shopping when I was in there and one mentioned how gross such a thing was. I reminded them that it's grosser to have ear and nose hair and NOT trim than to trim - they agreed with disgusted faces all around.

After choosing their gifts, the kids go into a side room and get adult help with wrapping, so by the end they've pretty much gotten Xmas/Hanukkah gifts for everyone on their own. They're always so pleased with themselves, even the smallest ones who can barely write their own names or place a piece of tape are thrilled with their efforts. It's very labor-intensive and wearing, but it's by far my favorite event of the year to help with. The kids are so serious about making their choices, then picking just the right paper and writing To: and From: on the tags. They love having surprises to take home that are all their own - a secret even from Mom and Dad - and look forward to Shopping Bazzar all year. My girls are no exception and Shannon got to shop today (Katie will go tomorrow). She made such a production of wrapping in another room of the school so I couldn't see what she picked - it was truly adorable. This is what I love about Christmastime - seeing people get excited about giving to others. I'm so glad my girls understand that part of the fun is the whole process of picking something meaningful for someone else.

Christmas is my favorite time of year. Thank you for giving me some time to think about why and how we make this season memorable... it's been a real pleasure.

Can anyone tell me what Christmas is all about?

I was talking to my friend today, the one I went to lunch with last week. In the course of the conversation he told me that his wife bought "a spray" at Trader Joes -- an evergreen swag-like thing for their door. I restrained myself from my usual tirade regarding wanting a Trader Joes out here and not having one, instead chuckling with him about the goyishness of having evergreen adorning their door. He laughed and said at least it wasn't a wreath, which led us to discuss the very tenuous relationship I've had for years with another friend of mine regarding the meaning of Christmas.

I've mentioned before how fundamental the spirit of Christmas is to me, how much I love the season and the spirit of giving it represents for me. Several years ago, my enthusiasm ran smack into my friend's decidedly unenthusiastic feelings about Christmas, when she told me flat out that as a Jewish person, she was offended by the implication that she should enjoy Christmas. To her, Christmas was about Christ and the obnoxious assumption that she was (of course) Christian. She saw no reason to get all excited this time of year, objected to people saying "Merry Christmas" and felt that trees, candy canes and gingerbread were all "symbols of Christian oppression." I couldn't have been more hurt at having my parade rained on and we used to fight bitterly over it -- everything from whether most Christmas symbols were really pagan to whether Christmas was really a secular holiday in the US. In time we came to a sort-of peace, but we never discuss it anymore...

In thinking on it, I know that Christmas means so much to so many people like me. Still, it gives me pause to see all the lights and feasts and toys and clothes... and I wonder why we only have one time of the year when it's so easy to smile at a stranger, stop and listen to carols, make time for get-togethers and dinners, exchange thoughts and gifts, and help the truly needy? Does it mean the rest of the year it isn't important? Of course not, but I think too many people forget that Christmas isn't just about glitter, lights, Santas, and wish lists. Christmas is the spirit of love and sharing and being together... a desire to put a smile on someone's face besides our own. You know, those things that matter throughout the whole year too but somehow get forgotten.



Everyone is really busy. I understand. But it's a constant prayer of mine that if someone sees a Christmas tree in any of their many comings and going with the names of children or seniors in need, that they might find it in their hearts to respond. There really are those out there who won't have any tree, no lights on the door, and no big Christmas dinner on the table. There really are those who struggle daily for a trip on the bus or a sweater on their shoulders...and it happens all year long. And for so many, all they want for Christmas is a visitor.

Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small
Was singing, without any presents at all
He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came
Somehow or other, it came just the same

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas, perhaps means a little bit more.

When I consider Christmas, it's not just about kids getting presents that pricks at me, but rather I think about everyone who goes the whole year through without someone to think of them, care for them or ask how they're doing. It makes me ill to imagine the child that wakes up Christmas morning without a present. Everytime I watch the first Harry Potter movie with the girls, it humbles me to see the expression on Harry's face that first Christmas at Hogwarts. He wakes up to see a tree and his friend Ron waiting for him. Ron is wearing a handmade sweater from his mother, too big as usual, which Harry notices. Ron says "You've got one too," indicating under the tree. Harry's eyes go big with stunned wonder: "I've got presents..." In that one second Daniel Radcliffe captured perfectly what it might feel like to be a child who's never seen presents under the tree. Honestly, if every other person were willing to get one extra gift -- be it a doll, a bottle of hand lotion, a book, a blanket, a car, some blocks, or a pair of gloves... whatever... we could make such a difference in the lives of so many. My kids go went with us last week to Target and Borders to buy one thing off their wish lists and one book, after which we took them to the local Marine Corps Toys for Tots pickup site. Later this week we'll put together the gift bags for local seniors - I want them to learn that it's people of all ages that need a smile, a cheerful thought and a small something that lets them know someone cares they're here on Earth. Would that all children learned that the blessing of Christmas isn't in receiving..it's in giving and spending time with loved ones.

Welcome Christmas, bring your cheer.
Cheer to all Whos, far and near.
Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp.
Christmas Day will always be
Just as long as we have we.
Welcome Christmas, while we stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand.

(with thanks to Dr. Seuss & Chuck Jones)

Playland and Doughland

We took the girls to McDonnald's Playland today. It's been pretty cold and they've not been able to run around much, so giving them a giant kid-habitrail to zip through seemed a pretty smart idea. In direct opposition to my plans, though, Katie puked up some of her orange juice in the car. We weren't sure why but it really freaked her out and got all over her clothes and coat. Bleah!

I had Tom stop at Kohls before going to McD's so I could get Katie something clean to wear for the day. Wow were they having a fabulous sale!! Sick how I go in looking for a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and come out with a pair of microfleece pants and a shirt... and two pairs of Disney Princess Pjs, two fleece nightgowns, two shirts for Shannon and a sweatshirt for Katie. I'm so bad about impluse shopping like that, but I justified it since Santa always brings the girls a new pair of jammies every year and they both needed the clothes. That whole issue of "need" is a tenuous one, I know, but it did keep me from buying any number of enticing quickies on the way to the checkout line. $3 Yankee candles anyone? Game pens make great stocking stuffers!! You know someone in your life who needs a leatherman tool! Even with my admirable restraint, the bill was still over $80 -- funny how that happens.

But we got them to Playland, changed Katie's clothes and they had a wonderful time. McD's was piping in holiday music, which was a little odd since I always associate them with the oldies station (what they usually have on). And I love Christmas music, don't get me wrong, but hearing "Feliz Navidad" play three times in two hours can be a bit much. Truly I'm much more a Sting/Annie Lennox/Loreena McKennitt kind of person at Christmas time, but that's what an iPod is for. Maybe I'll get a new one this year... damn Apple, my last one died 3 mos after the warranty expired. It's one of those things that I never realized how much I'd love it until I didn't have it anymore. Both girls are well aware that "Mommy wants an iPod for Christmas." Oh yes... and a rolling suitcase to keep all my school stuff in, thank you much. My shoulder is getting tired from schlepping my laptop, papers, and everything else all over town. Please Santa? I've been good you know!

After being at Playland for awhile, we went home and the girls and I made Xmas cookies - the plain sugar kind that you decorate with frosting. Shannon's were very proper in their use of color (e.g. trees are green, candy canes have red stripes...) while Katie's looked like modern art, with drips of icing and swirly lines all over the place. Not the traditionalist, that kid of mine. They all were fabulous and we ate them with lemonade and hot cider that night while we watched The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. I remember when we were kids, how we had to wait and plan to find out when The Grinch or Charlie Brown Christmas or the Rankin-Bass Rudolph were going to be on, then park next to the TV so you didn't miss it. Now with DVDs and the beauty of TiVo, the girls can watch whatever they want whenever they want. For awhile I thought maybe that took something special away from the event but the more I think about it, why shouldn't you get to see Charlie Brown whenever you want? We'll see it many times before the 25th, no doubt. Katie is beyond adorable when she does the Snoopy dance. *grin*

Bloody photos

Have I mentioned that I hate holiday crowds? So I went out today in pursuit of photo Christmas cards - you know, those kind where you take a picture and stick a holiday border around it with a short "Happy Holidays from Mom, Dad and the kids" on the front. So I headed to the Walgreens just up the street with my CD with the pics on it - seemed the quickest place to get in and out with what I wanted. I also needed a fake snow drape to cover my desk in the living room, since I've decided that the girls are finally old enough to not destroy my Dept. 56 Dickens Village. Alas, forces were conspiring against me. Walgreens #1 had no snow drape and their picture maker was broken. So I headed east, trying to decide whether to try Walgreens #2 or Wal-Mart across the street. Walgreens? Wal-Mart? The run-in/run-out factor won out again and I dipped into Walgreens #2, where I was able to order my cards (pick up at 5:30pm please - we're really busy today) but still no snow drape. I ended up at Wal-Mart after all.

There's no easy way to navigate "Cheap Crap Labyrinth" aka Wal-Mart. The parking lot was a zoo and everyone inside was lost in their own world of trying to find the right Playstation game or sweater or bedspread or 12 Dancing Princesses Castle. And of course the holiday stuff is all the way in the back of the store. I looked at karaoke CDs again, because I keep trying to find something appropriate for Shan's gift without being... well... let's just say I'm not going to have my 7-yr old lip-synching to The Pussycat Dolls and "Hot like Me." I didn't find anything, though, so I'll check Circuit City later. Walked through toys again, but nothing called me today. I left an hour later with two snow drapes, two kid-size Santa hats, and some wrapping tissue. Dropped another buck in the SA bucket... the guy working looked like he'd been standing there awhile.

Tom and I went to Costco later and managed to find a Chivas box set for his aunt and uncle, so thankfully they're finally taken care of. I took the box downstairs to the space where we're staging all the presents and stopped for a minute, looking at the piles of stuff. I remember specific gifts I got as a kid, like my first record player or the year I got a 2XL (one of the finest examples of early game robots -- fabulous fun!!). But I don't remember there being tons of stuff under the tree, piles of boxes, lots of "things." I've been trying to remember how much commercialism there was when I was small and I know it was certainly there, but it seems like it was a lot less. Maybe that's just time taking it's toll on my brain. Then I thought about how much I love giving gifts to people and decided that as long as we were giving nice things that were wanted and would see use, that I didn't care how big the stack was under the tree. Pile it on - watching people open gifts with a smile on their faces when they see what's inside is one of the best feelings in the world. It's not about how much is there... it's about what is there and being happy that someone thought of you.


It's funny... Sometimes at the holidays I feel like the person who sent in this postcard.


But the buying isn't for me. My postcard would say "I'm only happy when I buy things for other people." Somehow that seems like not such a bad thing to be this time of year.

Lunch and lights in the City

So today I got to meet a dear friend for lunch in the city. He let me pick anywhere I wanted, so of course I picked the Grand Lux Cafe. They're owned by the Cheesecake Factory and pretty touristy, yes, I know. But I can't help it - it's one of my favorite places. There's attention to detail everywhere, the service is fabulous and the menu is huge - you could pick something different every day for a month. We even got to sit in the rotunda, which is right on the corner of Michigan and Ontario, and look down at the crush of shoppers running back and forth every time the light changed. Phil noticed me looking at the women with the American Girl bags and asked if the girls were old enough for one. I said maybe, I wasn't sure yet. I don't want to get either of them a $100 doll if they won't take care of it. But even though I know American Girl Place is basically a temple to parental excess and indulgent children, I can't help but love the whole concept. Historical dolls with tons of dress-up accessories... what's not to love? Oh how I would have wanted one when I was little! Yes, I know the AG people (Mattel now, I think) are fully aware of how people like me think and totally pander to our sense of "I'd have loved that when I was a girl..." Still, whatever works.

So we ate at one of my favorite places, then walked up the street to AG -- he indulged me while I walked through both the bottom and the top floors, looking at all the dolls. Though I'm partial to the historical ones, I know Shannon wants one of the customizable ones, where you can get it with eye/hair/skin color to match your child. I think the Kit doll looks just like her (and she carries an Amelia Earheart doll!!), but what do I know? So I tried to figure out which one would be most like her, talked to the sales girl, and made some mental notes for mom. She's wanted to get the girls one of those dolls ever since they were born, but I've made her hold off. Now that Shannon's going to be 7, Mom wants it for Shannon's birthday gift. *sigh* Excess? Or a nod to a grateful kid? We'll see...

Then after shopping we headed off to Lincoln Park Zoo to see the lights with the animals. It was really pretty but BLOODY FREEZING! So we ducked into the children's center and watched the river otters play for awhile before venturing out again. I adore looking at Xmas light displays - they make me feel like a little kid. And having so much done around the animal displays was really pretty. I hadn't been to the zoo at Xmas in a very long time, usually because it's TOO BLOODY COLD! Oh well, we toughed it out for a good long while before getting back in the car.

With a bit of time left, we drove around through Lincoln Park looking at homes and business that had decorated. Saw the cute window below at the National City Bank along with some fabulous homes (clearly I chose the wrong career path in life). We headed up behind the MOMA and were lucky enough to find a meter near Daley Plaza so we could go into Christmas Village for awhile (this pic with the tree). I used to work just up the street from the Plaza and this time of year a collegue and I would go there for pierogi and potato pancakes and hot cider for lunch. Mmmmmmmmmmm. I miss those days very much. It was lovely to wander through the little kiosks again and feel like for a second you were in Christmas Germany.

Clearly I need to enjoy the city more at the holidays. We had such a wonderful day out.

Blinded by the Light

Many people on our street do some sort of outdoor decorating for the holidays. Like clockwork, the day after Thanksgiving all of a sudden ladders and extension cords litter everyone's lawns. There's more men outside than we've seen since summertime and *poof* -- like magic, when night comes, the whole street is lit up. Our outdoor displays are limited to a couple of lit animatronic reindeer with a couple of small green trees and red star balls hung from our Japanese Maple. I'd like to do more but Tom refused to hang from the rafters like every other Manly Man (TM) in the neighborhood just to put up strings of icicle lights and some illuminated wreathes. Despite my best efforts, his masculinity is still intact even without engaging in "Deck the House" rituals. Oh well... I'll keep trying. It helps get me in the mood to come down the street at night and see everyone's homes looking like something out of a fairy tale - lights are so pretty.

Even with most of us doing something festive for the holidays, no one beats our neighbors at the end of the block. They're the kind you see on TV - whose goal is to have their house seen from space. There's a ferris wheel with stuffed animals, a penguin colony, wooden standups of the Grinch, Cindy Lou Who, and Max, a giant inflatable merry go round, tons of Santas, etc... The enormous "Winter Wonderland" sign greets you at the front, Santa parachuting from a prop plane greets you in the backyard. Now honestly, I'm as festive as the next person, but sometimes it feels like the sun didn't quite set once they're in high gear.

Oh, did I forget to mention the outdoor stereo permanently affixed to 93.9 The Lite - All Xmas Music, All Day? Sometimes I hear "Pa rum pa pa pum" in my sleep, like the Tell Tale Heart.

"...I paced the floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observations of the men, but the noise steadily increased. O God! what COULD I do? I foamed -- I raved -- I swore! I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting, and grated it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It grew louder -- louder -- louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly , and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! -- no, no? They heard! -- they suspected! -- they KNEW! -- they were making a mockery of my horror! -- this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony!" -EAP

Oh wait... it's not a dead beating heart. It's supposed to be a drum. Duh - how could I have possibly been confused?

The girls love the display and ask me every year if we can go buy more stuff for our yard. They gaze longingly at the rows of outdoor decorations whenever we cruise the holiday isles at Target and shout excitedly at the humongous inflatable characters on display at Lowes. But I'm going to stick with my more modest display. Somehow, throwing the switch on several thousand volts of lights, music, and chaos doesn't fit well with how I want to think of Christmas. Our space is quieter, more gentle, more inviting I think for our friends and family who'll be coming soon. We can imagine a "Silent Night" over here. I wonder about how silent things will be down at the end of the block.

How many days left?

Tom and I discussed it and agreed that with the new bed we're building for them (would I have killed for a bed like that when I was 5!) plus all the other stuff they're likely to get, that they needed to donate some things so other kids could use them. We took them upstairs and went through every toy and game in the closet. You'd have thought we were killing them when we started...

"That's mine!"
"But I love that bunny!"
"If she doesn't want that I do!"

Eventually they got into the spirit of it, which was pretty nice. God they've got a ton of stuff... feels weird clearing out just so we can make room for more stuff. The girls keep asking me how many more days until Christmas. And if they can revise their lists. And can they go visit Santa again to make SURE he gets the most updated list possible. Sheesh... We really do try hard to put the brakes on so much commercialism and that sense of entitlement so many kids get this time of year. Honestly, between Christmas and Shannon's birthday (Dec 22), by New Years it looks like ToysRUs threw up in my house.

Shannon asked to go through our cupboards tonight and assemble a box of non-perishables to take to school for the food drive. I asked her if she knew why her class was having a food drive and she said "Because some people need more food, so they can get it at the food pantry." I was so proud that she took the initiative, wanting to donate to the school drive and help out others, but I wasn't quite sure she "got it." I took an extra minute to explain that it wasn't just more food, but some people don't have nearly enough food and go hungry sometimes. That really bothered her and knowing my kid, it'll be on her mind for several days.

Really, both my girls ask to take turns putting a dollar in the Salvation Army kettles we see outside Walgreens and Wal-Mart, they help pick gifts for kids we choose off the Angel Tree, and they can't wait to help me assemble the gift bags for the Senior Citizen home residents (will do that later this week after I buy some more things). Still, neither of them can even imagine what it would be like for Santa to not visit your house unless you were a wicked little hellion, and I admit that I really don't want to burst that bubble for them until they're a little older and not believing anymore.

When I was about 9-10 and had transitioned Santa from a person to an idea, there was a song I heard done by Nat King Cole called "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot." I remember how unbearably sad I was hearing that song, how there was a child out there who had nothing new for himself only because no one cared enough about him to bother. It was extremely powerful for me and was a factor in my making a personal decision, even then, to do everything possible to help others at the holidays. When the Angel Tree goes up or volunteers are solicited to go caroling at the nursing home or I see those unobtrusive red buckets, that's when I know Christmas is here. It's the only time of year when that little boy may get anything at all.

The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot
(Tommie Connor/Jimmy Leach/Michael Carr)
Nat King Cole - 1957

He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot,
And goodness knows, he didn't want a lot.

He sent a note to Santa
For some soldiers and a drum,
It broke his little heart
When he found Santa hadn't come.
 In the street he envies all those lucky boys,
Then wanders home to last year's broken toys.
I'm so sorry for that laddie,
He hasn't got a daddy,
The little boy that Santa Claus forgot.

Spoken:
(You know, Christmas comes but once a year for every girl and boy,
The laughter and the joy they find in each brand new toy.
I'll tell you of a little boy that lives across the way...
This little fella's Christmas is just another day.
He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot,
And goodness knows, he didn't want a lot.)

In the street he envies all those lucky boys,
Then wanders home to last year's broken toys.
I'm so sorry for that laddie,
He hasn't got a daddy,
The little boy that Santa Claus forgot.